Some people thrive with moderation. Others need clear, uncompromising boundaries. When it comes to making meaningful health changes, this distinction—abstainer vs. moderator—can make or break your long-term success.

I work with a lot of abstainers. These are the folks who do better eliminating a food, drink, or habit altogether than trying to “just have a little.” One cookie becomes an entire box. One drink becomes four before the band wraps their first set. Abstainers are often outspoken, no gluten, no sugar, no conventional meat, and absolutely no alcohol. They prefer the clarity of none over the moving target of some. For them, it’s not about willpower; it’s about structure.

But not everyone is wired this way. Moderators (like me!) are the ones who do better with flexibility. We live by the 80/20 rule and tend to ask: How much can I get away with and still feel good? When I got my genetic data back, I used it as a compass. Over two years, I experimented with gluten, caffeine, dairy, and alcohol. The verdict? My body doesn’t lie. Red and yellow SNPs (genetic variants tied to sensitivities) showed me what I could get away with—and what I couldn't. For me, gluten is a hard no, and caffeine is next on the list. But I still enjoy the occasional dairy and biodynamic wine within healthy parameters.

Get your Genetic Test for $297.

After attending ECO 2025 and hearing Dr. Tom O’Bryan speak about gut health and chronic inflammation, personalized nutrition and behavior change must go hand-in-hand to shore up our microbiome balance and leaky gut. This isn't about being perfect. It’s about using your biology to guide your habits. As Dr. Michelle Segar puts it in The Joy Choice (2022), the most lasting changes are those rooted in real life, not rigid rules. Whether you’re a strict abstainer or a flexible moderator, the key is understanding what works for you, and building from there.

Sources:

Rubin, G. (2012, October 10). Are you an abstainer or a moderator? Psychology Today. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-happiness-project/201210/are-you-abstainer-or-moderator

Segar, M. (2022). The joy choice: How to finally achieve lasting changes in eating and exercise. Hachette Go.